Old, Wooden Sticks

Crossed wood with handles

What Is It?

You will see pictured above two versions of the same thing: Wooden spigots for wine barrels (This is a food blog, so anyone who thought otherwise needs to get their minds out of the gutter.)

How Does It Work?

Well, first you need a big barrel of fermenting grape juice. Once you have that, you can stick one of these guys in said barrel in order to get at the wine. What appear to be wooden dowels are actually wooden tubes. Stuff the slim end  in the hole, pull out the bit at the top, and huzzah! the wine runs freely. Hopefully, you will have put a cup or bucket under the hole before releasing Dionysus from his slumber.

Do I Really Need It?

Absolutely not. Wine comes in glass bottles now. No need for the wooden wine spigots. Even if you couldn’t find wine in a bottle (or box or jug… we don’t judge here), you should probably use a stainless steel version in your wine barrel. Less pretty, but less likely to give you disease.

And, now the question you’re dying to ask: Why the hell do you have not one, but two of these wine spigots? Actually, I have five. These are just the prettiest two.

And, now the second question you’re dying to ask: What the fuck? Yup. I know. My grandfather made wine… in his basement. When you make wine in your basement, you end up with a lot of neat instruments hanging around. And, if you’re a member of my family, you don’t throw anything of substance away. My grandmother had these in a shoebox with rubber bands around them. The shoebox was for a pair of leather flats, women’s size 8½ from Crowley’s. The pair of shoes cost $17.00, so I think that box had been hanging around for a while.

Where Can I Buy My Very Own?

Seriously? If this is your thing, eBay has you covered. You can probably pick up a decent one for less than $10. But, if you’re in a pinch… and I mean, a real pinch… like, I need to get at my wine in a big old oak barrel NOW pinch, you can borrow one of mine. I want it back though. These are family heirlooms we’re talking about here. (Now, I didn’t judge your wine in a box habit. You don’t get to judge my family’s alcohol heirlooms.)

 

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